Now What How to move a parent with dementia to assisted living: a move-day plan
Short answer: plan the move with the community's staff ahead of time, set up the room with familiar objects and photos before your parent arrives, give staff a one-page sheet about your parent's routine, preferences and medications, keep move day calm with a small, familiar team, and plan regular visits for the first weeks. Questions about timing and readiness belong with your parent's doctor and the care team.
Any move is hard; for a parent with dementia, a new place can be confusing and frightening. Most of what makes the day go better is done beforehand: preparing the room, the staff and the people who'll be there.
This is an organizing guide, not medical advice. Whether and when to move, and how to handle your parent's specific needs, are questions for their doctor and the community's care team. For support any time, the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline is 800.272.3900.
Before the move
- Meet the care team and ask how they handle the first days for new residents with dementia, how medications are handled at move-in, and who your contact is.
- Ask what's allowed in the room and measure it. For packing, see what to bring when moving a parent into assisted living.
- Plan who will be there on move day: a small, familiar team, not a crowd.
- Agree as a family how you'll talk about the move with your parent, so everyone says the same thing. The communication tips for talking to a parent with dementia may help.
Make an "about my parent" sheet for staff
One page that helps new staff know your parent as a person:
- What they like to be called, and the people and pets they talk about.
- Daily routine: when they wake, eat, nap and go to bed, and favorite foods.
- What calms them and what upsets them, and things they enjoy doing.
- Glasses, hearing aids, dentures and mobility aids they use.
- The current medication list with allergies, copied from the labels, and the care contacts list. Both are in the free binder below.
Move day
- Set up the room before your parent arrives, with familiar things where they can see them. The National Institute on Aging notes that well-loved objects and photographs help a person with dementia feel more secure.
- Keep the day calm and simple: few people, few decisions, and time for rest.
- Introduce your parent to the staff who will help them day to day, and hand over the "about my parent" sheet.
- Follow the staff's lead on goodbyes; they see many first days and can suggest what works.
The first weeks
- Plan regular visits or calls, and ask staff what timing seems to help your parent settle.
- Keep a log of how visits go and any questions or concerns, and share them with the care team.
- Expect an adjustment period, and raise concerns about mood, sleep, eating or behavior with the care team and your parent's doctor.
- Look after yourself, too. Many families feel guilt and relief at the same time. See what to do when caregiving takes over.
Common questions
How do you move a parent with dementia to assisted living?
Plan with the community's care team ahead of time, set up the room with familiar objects and photos before your parent arrives, give staff a one-page sheet about your parent's routine, preferences and medications, keep move day calm with a small familiar team, and plan regular visits for the first weeks.
What should I tell staff about my parent with dementia?
What they like to be called, their daily routine and favorite foods, what calms or upsets them, activities they enjoy, the glasses, hearing aids, dentures and mobility aids they use, and their current medication list with allergies and care contacts.
How can I make the move to memory care easier for a parent with dementia?
Set up the room with familiar things before they arrive. The National Institute on Aging notes that well-loved objects and photographs help a person with dementia feel more secure. Keep the day calm, with few people and few decisions, and follow the staff's lead on goodbyes.
How long does it take a parent with dementia to adjust to assisted living?
It varies from person to person. Expect an adjustment period, keep a log of how visits go, and raise concerns about mood, sleep, eating or behavior with the care team and your parent's doctor.
Who can help us plan a move for a parent with dementia?
The community's care team, your parent's doctor, and the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900, which offers information and local resources any time.